So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
