my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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