I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
