I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
