I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
