new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
