Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
