what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
