imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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