come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
