I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
