So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
