Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
