How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
