I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize