I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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