but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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