OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
