But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
