i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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