Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I want you more than these girls want KFC
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
