i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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