Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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