I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
