Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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