nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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