In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
