If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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