Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
