i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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