I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Are my feet made of real feet?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
