spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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