I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
