3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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