I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so explain again why im purple
no
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize