So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
