Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
