On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
