Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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