I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize