Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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