I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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