susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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