if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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