i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
