Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
