so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
