The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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