..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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