Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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