I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize