just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
