a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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