you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
