I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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