I'm gonna have a badass scar
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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