He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
