If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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