ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
