I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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