if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
