found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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