GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
