so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
