Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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