come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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