maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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